


take me home

by banesexual



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, get ready for some oblivious crushing thrown in with a lot of pining and a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 13:14:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10190651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banesexual/pseuds/banesexual
Summary: Simon is only a bit in love with Jace but he won’t let that ruin their friendship…with benefits





	

It starts off casual, which really is a joke in itself because Simon Lewis has never not cared in his entire life. This is different though, this is Jace – the same Jace who made Simon literally trip over his own feet the first time they met because of his stupid smile and ridiculous jawline and _whose eyes do that what the fuck??_

Simon is in no way crushing on him though, _he isn’t_ , because Jace is also an asshole. A charming asshole, but an asshole nonetheless. If he isn’t making a lewd joke at Simon’s expense, Jace is dragging every last thing he loves, especially Star Wars _which is sacrilege we have covered this!!!_

This is why Simon is sure Jace approaching him with a flirty smirk on his birthday can only be part of some elaborate prank.

They’re both several drinks deep and everything is warm and fuzzy but not excessively so because Simon will not have Clary hold his hair back _every_ time he gets drunk. He’s only passed out once, and that was really Magnus’ magical liquor’s fault, but he’s seriously considering downing a bottle over what is unfolding before him.

Jace Lightwood and his painted on shirt with his cartoon hero arms is walking towards him and the look in his eyes makes Simon immediately blush.

“Birthday boy!” Jace all but yells. He knocks his glass against Simon’s a little too enthusiastically and grins when beer spills over onto the carpet. He presses a finger against his lips and shakes his head, “Shh, don’t tell Magnus.”

Simon rolls his eyes fondly, “You’re incredibly drunk.”

“Well yeah,” Jace laughs, low in his throat and by no means does it sound sexy…He takes another sip of his drink and Simon watches the line of his neck as he swallows because _fuck_. He’s lucky Clary has disappeared, there’s no way he could deny his gigantic heart eyed boner in this state. 

Jace raises his eyebrows, “What about you, Lewis? Havin’ fun?”

“Um, duh,” Simon teases, pointing to the bright pink birthday sash across his body. Upon arrival, Clary had slipped the thing over his head and poured him a shot. It was great for photos but now he wants to burn it because Jace is suddenly reaching out a hand and tugging on the fabric to bring them closer.

“Uh, dude?” Simon squeaks, turning red at the lack of space between them. It takes all of his energy to ignore how long Jace’s eyelashes are up close and the smell of vanilla and sweat.

“I came over to give you your present,” Jace says slowly, as if that explains anything. He’s smirking again and God, it’s disgusting how smooth he is.

“Yeah?” Simon says dumbly.

“Your present,” Jace repeats and in all honesty, Simon’s already gone. He’s well aware that what is happening _can’t_ be happening but Jace is right fucking there, staring at him like his latest fling and they’re impossibly close now, uncomfortably close, because Jace keeps leaning in as if he wants more and maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s the year of pretending to not pine but when Jace presses his lips against Simon’s, he kisses back.

It’s soft and sweet and not at all how Simon would expect. In a few choice daydreams Simon has imagined urgency and heat, but Jace is being weirdly gentle which is definitely worse. Instead of an unbelievably hot fantasy, this feels painfully real. Jace’s hand is at the back of his neck, playing with the curls there and Simon all but melts into the touch. Jace’s other arm is wrapped around his waist, keeping him close and Simon thinks he could actually honestly die. They manage to steal another kiss before Izzy wolf whistles and they break apart with shy smiles and heavy breaths.

It doesn’t mean anything, _it doesn’t have to mean anything_ , Simon promises over message the next day and he almost chokes at Jace’s response minutes later. 

_Maybe it can? ;)_

So that’s how it begins: a birthday kiss, a drunken make out and then a series of Friendly Hook Ups™ - because _they are friends_ , Simon reminds himself every time their actions tell him otherwise, and he won’t let himself fall. Not now, not for _Jace,_ even if their touches are still soft and Jace always stays afterwards, curled into his side with one arm tight around Simon’s waist like he never wants to let go…

“You’re doing it again,” Clary teases, snapping her fingers in front of Simon’s face for the third time since sitting down for lunch. It’s two weeks after his party and she hasn’t stopped grilling him about the surprising end to the night. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so spacey and you’re actually beaming –“

“I’m not _beaming_ ,” Simon says under his breath and Clary laughs.

“Si, you’re practically the sun.”

Simon rolls his eyes and moves his food around on the plate in front of him, “It was just one kiss.”

And yeah, it’s a lie but if he pretends everything with Jace is nothing, maybe he’ll start to believe it.

“If you say so…” Clary sighs and Simon knows she’s not done but there’s two familiar faces walking towards their table and any next words die in her mouth.  

“Sorry we’re late, someone couldn’t decide between two identical grey shirts,” Izzy says pointedly, sliding into the chair next to Simon and leaving Jace the seat opposite.  

“One was charcoal,” Jace corrects, shooting Simon a wink as he sits down, “And it takes time to look this good.”

Someone keeps talking, Simon knows that much but all he can do is blink because Jace. Is. Here? And he’s staring in the way that makes Simon feel like the focal point of this entire universe, which is really not helping the whole stunned situation. It’s not that the Lightwoods joining their fortnightly dine and dish is uncommon, but Clary always asks and Simon is yet to work out how to act platonic, especially when Jace is crossing his arms like that and _hello biceps._

“Clary?” Simon whispers, turning to give her A Look and it sounds strangled.  

“Oh, did I forget to mention that I invited our friends?” Clary asks innocently, enjoying this more than is surely necessary and Simon swears he could kill her.  

“We can go…?” Jace offers, looking between them and it’s one of the first times Simon has seen him anything less than confident. It’s unfairly endearing.

“No!” Clary and Izzy say together and Jace grins, reaching for a menu from the middle of the table.

“So what did we miss?” Jace asks, gesturing vaguely to mean their current conversation and Clary _, as if she hasn’t done enough,_ opens her mouth to answer.

“Salmon!” Simon says quickly, spying a neighbouring table’s meal, “We were talking about salmon – you know, the fish? I, uh, I almost ordered this salmon pie thing but Clary was saying there’s been a real, um, shortage in salmon lately. Which like, poor fisherman, out there on the seas all day, can you even imagine? Anyway, I, uh, decided on a salad instead out of solidarity – you know me, saviour of salmon!”

The words come out in a rush, like they always do when he’s nervous and Simon sneaks a glance around the table to see if anyone’s buying this nonsense.

Jace looks at him strangely with only a hint of a smile, “Simon, you’re a vegetarian.”

And then Clary is laughing and Izzy’s on the verge too and all Simon can do is go red.

“I eat fish…” he insists but it sounds weak even to his own ears.  

 “Is that why you own a Finding Nemo shirt that says ‘fish are friends, not food’?” Jace jokes, eyebrows raised in challenge and Simon can’t breathe because a) Jace apparently remembers little things like his licensed tee collection which is both b) totally awesome!!!!! and c) grossly inconvenient considering it effectively incriminates him and his stupid salmon-pie-lie and d) everyone is now looking at him, waiting and this is all Jace’s fault anyway, showing up unannounced and making Simon flustered beyond belief.  

“I’ll be right back,” Simon mutters, standing up and making a beeline for the bathroom because even fleeing can’t make this mess of an encounter any worse.

He walks right up to a mirror and stares, wondering how they even got here. Lunch dates and Jace using him as a punchline was their norm but Simon doesn’t know how to just sit there anymore without embarrassing himself and reminding Jace why he is so completely and utterly out of his league.

He’s only alone for thirty seconds before he hears the door swing open and there’s Jace, looking like a fucking knight in shining armour, coming to save Simon from his own distress.

“You really don’t know how to shut up, do you?” Jace asks with a smirk, leaning against the tiled wall and it’s so close to something he would’ve said Before that Simon’s face falls.

“Hey,” Jace says softly, taking a step closer and nudging Simon’s foot with his own, “I’m only kidding…it’s cute. A monumental waste of time, but cute.”

Simon can’t help but smile at that, finally feeling at ease now it’s just them, “You’re an ass.”

“Yeah and you love it,” Jace teases, coming closer and Simon is the first to lean in, thanking Jace for checking on him in the only way he’s allowed. They’ve kissed dozens of times now, some sweet and lingering after long days apart, others messy and off-centre when things heat up but never like this, in daylight, outside of the locked comfort of Simon’s room.

It feels like _more,_ like the everyday that Simon thinks about with Jace in his bed halfway to sleep. He wants this and them and everything in between and he wants Jace to want it too. In the beginning, it was easy to drown out the feelings with fingers at his hips and hands in his hair but now he can’t ignore his heart and the way it doesn’t work right when Jace is around.

“I wanted to do this as soon as I walked in,” Jace admits, voice all husky in a way that Simon has practically memorised and it’s scary how familiar this feels, how fast they’ve learnt to make each other fall apart. It’s power he hasn’t really given anyone else before.

“Me too,” Simon says seriously, because any time Jace is in the room he can barely think of anything else and now is no different. He kisses harder, pressing Jace against the wall and mouthing at his collarbone in the way that always makes him come undone.

“Fuck, that feels incredible,” Jace all but growls, reaching for Simon’s ass and this needs to not be happening right now in a public bathroom with friends and siblings just outside.  

“M’Wait,” Simon says against his lips and Jace pulls back with a ridiculous pout that makes his next words even harder to get out, “We, uh, shouldn’t - not here…”

They’ve already been gone a few minutes and the last thing they need is someone busting in and discovering what they’ve been working so hard to hide. 

“Take me home?” Jace asks, eyes suddenly soft and Simon wonders how he could ever say no.

He gets better, more _composed_ in Jace’s presence and they fall into a bit of a routine. They message, they meet up, they fuck and technically it’s the most stable thing in their lives which is almost laughable considering how this all began.

Simon tries not to notice how things are slowly changing, how Jace ends up at his place every other night and sometimes has dinner with him first, _because I need my strength, babe._ The pet name is new too, but it mainly slips out during sex and Simon just blames it on how mouthy Jace gets when he’s close.

They don’t talk about it, not until Simon accidentally reciprocates one night with a whispered _please, baby_ and Jace freezes.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Simon says in a rush, burying his face in his hands, “You know I can’t shut my mouth, which you usually don’t mind when we’re very very naked but I know we’re not – this isn’t like that, like we don’t hold hands or call each other sickly sweet names and I’m so making this worse, can we please just forget I said anything?”

“Simon,” Jace says slowly, resting his hands against Simon’s chest to calm him, “You can call me whatever you want. It’s nice. I was just surprised, that’s all.”

Simon nods, eyes fixed to the ground and even if this feels like progress, deep down he knows it’s the start of the end.

The next morning, Jace is gone before Simon wakes up and he isn’t replying to any texts, not even the silly pick up lines that usually result in a string of eggplant emojis. He spends the day waiting and overthinking and he’s seriously considering storming over to the Lightwood’s in the biggest overreaction he can muster when his screen finally lights up.

_Sorry I was out._

And then

_I think we need to talk._

And there it is, the conversation Simon has been dreading from the very start and he hates himself for being so obvious, so visibly smitten that he’s finally scared Jace off. 

They agree to meet up in an hour and Simon changes his outfit seven times and almost throws up twice and practically paces holes into the floor. When he hears a knock, quieter than Jace’s usual banging, his stomach sinks.

He opens the door, bracing himself for heartbreak and stops short when he sees an exhausted Jace staring back at him.

“Uh, hi,” Simon says awkwardly, taking in the bedhair and old, creased shirt Jace is sporting at eleven o’clock at night. This is hardly late for one of their visits, but Jace has never shown up with even a hair out of place. Simon knows he’s fucked up big time. 

“Hey,” Jace says sadly, following Simon into his room. He stands in the corner, trying to get as much distance between them as possible and Simon waits.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” Jace says all at once and he’s frowning and even though it’s exactly what he expected, Simon can’t breathe, “I, uh, I just think we want different things.”

Simon stares at the ground and nods, not trusting his voice just yet.  

Jace runs a hand through his hair and sighs, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have – it was wrong of me to continue anything between us when I knew how we both felt.”

“It’s okay,” Simon says quietly, because it is, this was only sex and Jace owes him nothing, “I should’ve told you I liked you at my party, probably before then even but I didn’t want to weird you out or like mess up what we had…”

Simon trails off because Jace is looking at him funny and this is hard enough without his stupid perfect face making it a hundred times worse.

“Simon,” Jace starts, “I don’t think you know what I mean -“

“No, I get it – please, just stop talking,” Simon begs, “Hypocritical, I know because I never can but I really can’t hear you say it again, unless you want to but that’s a bit cold man, I know I’m fun to rile up but let’s not literally rub this dumb crush in my face.”

And Simon knows he’s rambling, blurting out things he’s kept in for over a month now but with every word that pours out he sees Jace’s face soften.

“Simon,” Jace says with a small smile but the words just keep on coming.

“And I swear I won’t make this into a Thing, like we can totally go back to being just friends and I’ll actually, for once, keep my mouth shut about everything – I won’t even tell Clary, so you know I’m crazy serious – “

“Simon!” Jace says, louder this time and he grins when Simon finally stops for air, “I came here to break this off because _I’m_ getting feelings for _you_.”

Simon rolls his eyes, “Shut up.”

“No, listen to me,” Jace says seriously and he suddenly seems wide awake, “I like you. A lot. And I thought you didn’t feel the same.”

Simon stares blankly as the words sink in and then he’s laughing, manically, because _what the fuck,_ “I’ve liked you this whole time, you idiot!”

And all the sleepovers and fond touches and accidental pet names start to make sense and Simon might actually burst.

“I should’ve known, you literally fell the first time we met,” Jace teases and neither of them can stop smiling because this is happening, _this is real_ and it’s more than they ever expected.

Simon points at him accusingly, “Hey, you’re the one who loves me so much you can’t shower! Or sleep!”

Jace laughs again and shrugs, “I’d much rather do both of those things with you.” 

And even after all this time, Simon can’t quite believe Jace is saying all this  _to him_ and he’s moving before he knows it, all but jumping into Jace’s arms and hugging him tight. They’ve pressed their bodies together plenty but this feels new and Simon finally lets himself hope. 

“Date me,” Jace whispers after a moment. It’s barely a question but Simon nods so fast his head might fall off and Jace’s smile in return is just about the biggest and brightest it’s ever been.

**Author's Note:**

> omg hi so this is my first jimon fic!!! please feel free to let me know what you thought in the comments and maybe i'll write more xo


End file.
